A Conversation With “Carl”
Though I had a lot of smiles, great meetings (and TweetUps) and good times at WFX last week, I’ve been processing through one encounter that made a unique impact on me: I met “Carl” and listened to his heart break.
“Carl” isn’t his real name, of course, but this man was in real pain when I met him. He’d traveled halfway across the country with some staff members, including his Senior Pastor, to attend WFX and learn how their church could make some needed changes.
I first saw Carl a day or two earlier when he said something to me (calling me by name) in passing. Since I’ve been a part of WFX from the beginning, I assumed that I’d probably met him or that he knew of me from a class or even online. I remember that Carl looked about like every other conference attendee. Yet on this last day of the conference, late in the afternoon, I saw Carl as I rode down the elevator for one last trip to the expo floor. He didn’t look like everyone else this time; he looked exhausted, discouraged and alone.
I sat down next to Carl and listened as he slowly opened up to me, sharing the history of his experience as a volunteer sound operator at his church all the way up to the moment I sat down with him. The tale was one I’ve heard before, but something was different about this story. I wasn’t hearing about, reading about or talking on the phone about his story; I was in a one-on-one private discussion about the pain, discouragement and abuse he’s suffered.
Carl wasn’t a whiner. He didn’t complain or disrespect his leadership. Instead, I heard from the innermost parts of his soul as he tried to understand why his church leadership treated him with near contempt, never understanding his heart to help, serve and empower. Instead, he was only seen as a “tech head” who just wanted to spend money on “stuff”. (Does that sound familiar to any of you?)
I’ve heard a lot of stories about volunteers and/or staff being in an unhealthy church environment. Heck, I’ve worked in one myself. But this one pretty much took the prize as “worst”.
After talking and praying with Carl, I encouraged him to walk out of the convention center and go walk along the shore (we were in Long Beach). I prayed over him for peace that surpasses human understanding and reminded him the Lord is near.
“The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” – Philippians 4:5-7
After this divine appointment with my brother in Christ, I was reminded of what the Lord told me in December of 2006: It’s not about tech; it’s about people.
My time with Carl reminded me that the expo floor, all the technology on display, all the classes, the keynote talks – all of it – were not the main focus. People need support, encouragement, prayer and community. Technology has a role to play in supporting those efforts, but we must always remember to keep our focus on reaching out to people.
Do you suspect that this might be happening to a volunteer or staff member you know? How will you reach out to them – today? If this describes you, shoot me an email and I’ll call you up, talk and pray with you.
5 Responses to “A Conversation With “Carl””
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I'm Anthony Coppedge, a follower of Jesus, a husband to my uber-bride and father to four great kids. I help ministries leverage technology and communicate with a digitally-infused culture. I'm passionate about this, so that makes me a Technology & Communications Evangelist. I attend and volunteer at Gateway Church in Southlake, TX and love it!
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Dead on Anthony.
As someone who has been where Carl is (or at least was a week ago…), I think it's awesome that that you are willing to spend time reaching out in this way. On behalf of those who have and will be in that situation, thank you.
Oh boy, can I relate…unfortunatly in my case I gave in to my selfish side and resigned the position. I tried to share my feelings with others but I would never tell them the complete truth, I tried to show myself as stronger than I actually was, that I could handle being the SE (system engineer) for five years straight and being FOH for three services a week for ten months straight. So… I know my calling is in tech, maybe I will try a bit of moderation this time…burnout is a bad thing, it's real, no matter how much you love the Lord…
This is a bit of a generalization, but churches (congregations & leaders) tend to value the skills the "tech head" has, but we either ignore him as a person, or worse, secretly resent the fact that we need to rely on him. We see him as a resource (similar to the sound system, a computer or a vacuum cleaner) instead of a real person serving God with the gifts God has given him. So sad.
It is a too much of a generalization, David. The idea that \\"either ignore him as a person, or worse, secretly resent the fact that we need to rely on him\\" is not the either/or. It\\'s possible that those two things happen (and they do, sadly), but the either/or proposition would look more like: \\"Because we don\\'t understand techies, they\\'re often not understood as a person. Sometimes, the differences are so large that leaders may even resent being forced to rely on a person they don\\'t understand or know how to communicate with due to the technical needs of churches.\\"
There are leaders (I\\'ve met more than a few) that truly value, appreciate and honor their tech arts staff and volunteers. This particular post reflected on the pain of one person who represents many in churches that do not value, appreciate or honor their tech arts staff and volunteers.